Mom, can you please listen to me????

' When i was just a little girl, i ask my mother wat would i be...
will i be pretty, will i be rich, tats what she say to me...
hey sarah sarah, what ever will be, will be...
the future not us to see....
hey sarah sarah... wat will be will be....'

Still remember this nursery rhyme?
Yes, OF COURSE!!!!

On tuesday, my english teacher ask us about my ambition....
I took ten minutes to decide, What i wanna be.....
When i was young, my ambition is to be a lawyer, teacher, accountant and businesswoman...
But now??? NOTHING!!!!

I was born in a moderate family, own a elder sister and elder brother....
I always tell my fren tat i don need to worry about my future since my parents had planned for us (me and my other siblings) sistematically.....
But i was WRONG, ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!!!

I thought tat after SPM, i can choose a field to study on and work on it.
I told my sister about my thought and she said tat i was wrong....
She said tat we don have the freedom to choose our career if our ambition didn't get our parents recognition.....
Tat means my ambition to be a lawyer, teacher, businesswoman and accountant, IS HOPELESS.....

Since tat, i don have a specific ambition to work on....
I was so afraid tat my ambition did not get my parents recognition.....
I don't wan to lie to others about my FAKE ambition again....

When my tuition aunty ask me about it, i told her tat i still haven has an ambition....
She was shock!!!
A girl who can gain good results, with her brother and sister studying chemical engineering and actuarist HAD NO AMBITION!!!
So i tell her the truth tat my ambition always cant get my parents recognition and i am afraid to keep on changing on it....

I even go to our school counselling to ask opinion from a counselling teacher.....
She said that i am a girl who likes to investigate, who likes arts too...(well, i donno how to draw)
So she ask me to find careers which suits me.....
Later then, i list out three ambitions...
1- psycologist/ psychiatrist
2- forensic scientist
3- dresser(someone who dress up people)

I really really hope i can achieve my ambition one day.....
Mom, please allow me to choose my own way to ....
Let me decide my own future.....